Vermont

Ever thought about taking the train? I know I have! Train rides evoke wonderful childhood memories for me. I remember Papa telling me about his days riding the rails after the war until he took on a new identity. He would regail me and my brother Homer with exciting stories of when he was king of the Hobos! I got to thinking: how about planning a trip that would recapture those tremendous tales my Pops used to tell?
I plan on calling Homer out of his cave and tell him about this great adventure!
Now if memory serves me, The world capital of Hobuggery (I think that's what they call the art of being a hobo) is definitely Burlington Vermont! All year round, hobo's from around the world congregate in Burlington's many parks and abandoned buildings. They hold music festivals and open field barbecues! Pops used to tell us that you could see the fires from miles around; The flames would rage for days and the hobos would gather around the perimeter holding stick with various edibles impaled on them: marshmallows, sausages, frogs, small birds, squirrels and little cats and dogs!
They would also have little carnivals for the local children, but usually the parents wouldn't allow their kids to go, so the county would release the patients from the crazy house and allow them a fun day in the sun - or rain.
Every Christmas there's a holiday Hobo Choir and a giant bottle chime that's made up of thousands of beer and wine bottles strung across the park's trees like Christmas decorations. Papa used to tell us that he never stood under these chimes because his hobo brothers would sometimes use the bottles when there were no washrooms and forget to empty them before hanging them up!
Burlington rests on the eastern shore of a very large lake. Apparently there's a kind of large creature that lives in this lake - maybe we'll be the first ones to see it! I'm definitely bringing my box of crayons in case I want to get a picture of it. Homer and I will wait until low tide because, interestingly enough, this lake has the most extreme difference in low and high tide in the world! The lake actually looks empty at low tide and then floods the coast at high tide. If you go exploring the lake bottom at low tide, be sure you wear thick boots because the lake bottom is covered with razor sharp barnacles. Of course, all the fish are exposed during low tide, but there are strict laws protecting them. You can't go around with a basket grabbing up fish - that's not fair for the fish! You are however, allowed to shoot them with a handgun and then pick up your kill.
The Hobo influence goes deep in Vermont; Ben and Gary, the inventors of Ice Cream, are retired hobos - as are the Governor and Attorney General! Most of the population is nomadic, having come from Hobo ancestors - and some Berber stock! Your summer neighbor could be gone by the fall and then reappear several years later. I guess they're careful who they lend their lawnmowers to!
Hobo restaurants abound, which is great for the environment since they recycle food garbage! Hobo hotels are all over the city and they are free for visitors. They're free because there is no service of any kind provided. Some of the hotels don't even have ceilings!
Vermont has so much to offer! The people are kind and friendly - as are the cows and hogs and sheep. They're always ready to help a neighbor and share whatever garbage they have in their colorful shopping bags and carts.

Thanks for the inspiration, Pops!

Keep on travelin"!

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