Washington DC

Last night, during our biweekly evening vigil atop the Sasquatch pole, Norv and I were carrying on a serious discussion about world politics. At one point we had to stop because we saw some bushes shaking and thought it was you-know-who! We quickly found out that it was Porky Smuts; the rock we threw hit him in the left cheek.
Porky hails from Uranium City, near CutKnife along the Sucker River. Being from Uranium City, he tend's to glow after sundown so we didn't have to throw the rock. Anyway, we were glad that Porky showed up because he would add greatly to our discourse. Porky says he's been to Washingto DC, the seat of world government!
Norv was curious as to why it's called DC. Porky explained that because it's not in any of the fifty two states of America, they can't run any state electrical wires for partiality's sake so everything runs on batteries or gas. Washington is apparently the only place in the world that sells propane powered televisions! Every house has an oil drum sized battery casing that holds four thousand AAA batteries (or two thousand six hundred and sixty AA batteries) which are changed every week - unless they're Duracells; then it's nine days!
Washington has over twelve million people living and working there on any given weekday but when Friday comes, more than nine million leave and go to their week end homes in Baltimore which is a lavish resort city.
Washington has representation from all over the world within it's city limits and each country has their own theme park. The only food they serve is hot dogs and white cake, but each country serves them with their own condiments and icing, making each eating experience unique! For example: Scotland serves hot dogs with wet oats and sheep bladder and the cake has salt kipper icing. Deeelish!
All the political leaders have rocket sleds delivering them to the halls of government in less than three seconds. And when they get there, it's roll up the sleeves time and work work work for at least fifteen minutes before they take a four hour break for photo ops and baby kissing. The elite politicians have assistants do their hand shaking for them since their own hands are always too busy counting money. Each politician has his own printing press in his office, should he need to send out important bulletins or have to create more currency. Political life is not for everyone and they made sure of it by building a giant circular wall around the government buildings which they call "the beltway". Originally built to keep the Indians out, it now protects the halls of power from any infiltration. Ironically enough, there's now a lot of curry restaurants within the walls so I guess the wall was ineffective for it's original purpose. Also, the four horse chariot width of the walls is a bit outdated.
The Emperor's palace, also known as the "White House" sits atop the central mountain overlooking the harbour. There is a continual stream of dignitaries from around the globe bringing peace offerings and manufactured goods, since Washington has no factories belching out polluted air - it's got plenty already. The Emperor and his seven brides sit in an oval office and receive visitors between nine and eleven in the morning except for week ends and bank holidays. The Emperor regails his guests with amazing stories of conquest and accomplishment and his brides sell home made pies and quilts.
Sounds like a wonderful place! Porky had us mesmerized for minutes with his description of this great city - and his radioactive glow made it all the more dramatic!
Well, that's all for now; I've got to check Norv's splint and make sure his broken leg heals properly. It's a pretty long drop off the Sasquatch pole.

Keep on travllin'!

Blitz