Las Vegas

When you got an itch, you gotta scratch! Pearly's getting tired of pitching pennies against the barn door - he wants some real gambling action. Where to go? I think it's time we planned a trip to Las Vegas! It's also know as Sin City. I don't know what that means but I'm sure I'll find out from the locals!
Las Vegas is a beautiful little town nestled in a valley in the Rockies just south of here. Lots of Alpine and Tudor Style homes glow against a dramatic backdrop of snow capped peaks. On the outskirts of town there's a place they call "The Strip" where all the gambling happens. It's quite a contrast: Neon light abound! It looks like daylight day and night - non stop! The neon glows twenty percent brighter because of all the atomic testing that goes on there. It's not unusual to see five legged rats and three eyed doormen greeting you at the motels next to the Casinos. The multi-legged rodents are what they call "the Rat Pack" and apparently put Las Vegas "on the map". The town is actually run by a local man named "Mayor Cyclops" because of the one large eye in his forehead.
There are other aspects of Las Vegas that have benefited greatly from the radiation: The many buffets feature very large vegetables that keep growing - even after they've been cooked! Meats are also out of the ordinary. I can't wait to try the Pigsritch steaks! I've been told that it's a fusion of pork and ostrich. Similar to this tasty mix are the Duckalo and Fief, which are raised on top secret farms outside the city. I wonder what makes up a MacChicken? There's lots to eat at the buffets and if you like the atmosphere there, wait till Midnight when they shut the lights and watch the results of eating irradiated food: Let my people glow!
Don't be too disturbed by the radiation talk about this amazing place. All you "eco-friendly folks will be happy to know that Las Vegas has been "going green" for the last thirty years! Every day whole forests of weeds and bushes come out of the ground and are quickly torn out and burned by special ops crews. They take the wood and bramble in convoys of trucks and burn it outside of town in large incinerators which the town uses for power. That's what I call conservation!
I'm sure you've heard of the great entertainment that goes on nightly in Las Vegas.
I haven't, so I'll report to you when I get back.
I will warn you that Las Vegas has a reputation for being a haven for women of ill repute. I think they're the kind that can't cook, gossip all day and talk back to their husbands. I'll know to not make eye contact and I'll keep a can of Raid in my rucksack - just in case!
And don't neglect the natural beauty of the region. There are places for mountain hiking and ranches where you can ride six legged Horses and Duckalos. Oddly enough they have a large population of Spidacles, an atomic fusion of Spiders and Barnacles.
Just watch where you're walking! The scorpions will thank you.
All in all, sounds like an exciting place! Pearly and I are gathering up our pennies in preparation!
Keep on travellin'!
Blitz