I'm often asked about food. Apart from hobos and beggars, squirrels and chipmunks, my millions of fans are constantly asking my culinary opinion.
Here's an example from Molly Willabong:
Hello, Blitz.
I'm a new reader. In all your travels, you must have eaten alot of stuff ;-) Can you please share a local recipe or two from some of your fave destinations? :-0 I'm allergic to watermelon and gum, so please try to avoid dishes that include those items :-( Everything else is FINE!
Thanks :-)
Your newest fan, Molly
Well Molly, if I'd have to pick one place that has the most amazing food on the planet, it would have to be Central Australia! This wonderful mountainous region boasts a wide variety of climatic conditions that allow for a plethora of foods, both flora and fauna. Due to rich deposits of igneous soil that drifted down from North Australia's volcano belt, the nutrient rich earth of this region causes crops to grow at an alarming rate, and with all this rich food, the animals grow large and fat!
Resorts abound in this region and at varying elevations as well. In the valleys, there are Hunting Lodges, Dude Ranches and Casinos run by the local Aboriginal peoples.
Hunters from around the world arrive during the various hunting seasons and are rarely disappointed. The land is rich in tigers, ostrich, caribou and jellyfish! These resort hunting lodges feature chefs that know many ways to prepare these animals - after they've been killed!
Here's a world famous recipe "Tapinaussie" from Chef Arnold Cassawompolala of the Tigertail Hunting Lodge:
Ingredients:
12 lbs ostrich heads (remove beak and feathers)
4 lbs jellyfish with tentacles (you won't need chili peppers if you leave the stingers in)
2 lbs blue potatoes
2 lbs blue cheese (or spoiled yogurt)
1 lbs dill root (with the dirt)
7 lbs onion skins
Proceedure:
Combine all ingredients in large bowl.
Hand mix until consistent.
Run three times through grinder until smooth.
Stuff into pastry bag and squeeze on to crackers, toasted bread or celery.
You can also use it as toothpaste if you grind in some barnacles for grit.
At higher elevations there are Dude Ranches if a more rugged adventure is your desire.
Central Australia has no horses since they were the favorite food of the Aboriginees and were broiled and barbecued to extinction. Christopher Columbus, a British explorer, introduced the Alpaca to the region during one of his surveys of the mountains and now they are the main form of transportation, supplanting the Diggeridoo, a hopping creature. Ironically enough, Alpaca saddles are made of Diggeridoo leather! You can roam the trails around the mountains and canyons for days with a small group of fellow dudes and a guide. The great thing about being out in the fresh air (unless there is a volcanic eruption up north) is that you can get real hungry! A favorite meal for these hardy sojourners is called "trail mix". It's an amalgam of stuff found along the trail that day. After the Alpacas are safely tucked in their sleeping bags, the "dudes" dig a pit and start a fire - in the pit - and place a large pan over it. Then they toss everything they collected and dry roast it in the pan until it all gets steamin hot. The seasoning goes on after that and everyone hunkers down to some great grub - the main ingredient of trail mix! Along with grubs there are various plants and fungi, small rocks and twigs and many different seeds and pods. Lizards and small rodents round out this flavorful dish.
At the highest elevations there are several Casinos with twenty four hour gambling fun! Because of the rustic nature of the area, money is not totally necessary although it is cheerfully accepted. There are many trappers and hunters operating in the area so you'll see over-sized craps and roulette tables covered with pelts and carcasses.
Needless to say, there are restaurants a-plenty with all kinds of themes and motifs in these pleasure palaces. Oddly enough, they all serve different forms of hamburger, meatballs or meatloaf. The Aboriginal owners of these establishments find it easier to grind all the different meats that come their way.
Here's a typical Casino restaurant recipe:
Ingredients:
100 lbs various meats.
120 lbs filler ( usually breadcrumbs or gypsum from the nearby mines. Chinese meatballs use melamine)
1 gallon spruce vinegar.
2 pints Elmers wood glue (binder)
Procedure:
Mix ingredients together. Grind until smooth. make into patties, meatballs or meatloaf. cook. put on bun, in bowl or plate. eat.
I hope this helps you and that you enjoy the cuisine of this very special place.
If you'd like to know more about international culinary arts, read some of my archives and keep checking this site for more revelations. Speaking of food, Lem and Pearly are making dinner tonight - hope it's Trail Mix - Saskatchewan style!
Keep on travellin'!
Blitz
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
This is a message for John Fastendin through the internets.
Batten down the hatches, my nephew, for I fear your battle agains the hoi polloi has just begun. Hold firm, and do not give meritorious advice to Klappenhammer or, to wit, to his gang of garrulous and irritating apologists.
Raise your shield at the first sign of violations of the basic tenets of journalism and scholarship. I have seen the enemy, and the enemy is bound to shower disgraceful party animals with undeserved encomia.
If you camp out and hone in, Klappenhammer and his cronies will flare out, and cave in. Persevere and prosecute his purveyors of pap, lad.
Intelligence tells me that one of Glitz Klappenhammer's most noisome serfs is the point man in a process of creeping fascistization of our society —and Klappenhammer knows it. There is a problem here. A very large, materialistic, Fabianism-riddled problem.
This battle of words and whatnot, John, will be your Waterloo, and you are on the road to becoming a modern-day Bonaparte.
Fight on in victory,
Col. Falcon St.-Pierre-Fastendin (Ret.)
Thanks Unc!!
Poobah that he thinks he is, I happen to believe that every time Blitz implies that it is his moral imperative to create a new cottage industry around his two-faced form of vandalism, his goombahs' eyes roll into the backs of their heads as they become mindless receptacles of unsubstantiated information, which they accept without question.
Uncle, you know that I will oppose this outrage with all my might.
Aaaaaah! Falcon, my dear old friend, so good to once again hear your battle cry to chivalry and common sense! How I've missed those days in Paris. My only regret still remains the porridge incident.
I daresay, though, your young nephew could learn a little in the way of verbal gallantry from a couple of antique miscreants such as we, no?
Please give my best to Penelope and the girls.
Stan "Pingpong" Pong
How DARE you communicate with me on this forum, Dr. Pong!!
While we may lightly touch on an agreement as it pertains to the ways of my nephew, after what was said and done by Yours Truly during the travesty that was Paris of 1959, and after how you consequently misrepresented my fair sister in the operating theater (crude as it was in those harsh Gaullist days), you have NO RIGHT to address me, not via pen, not via paper.
Your indiscretions are a house of mirrors, and I will not acquiesce to your Faustian bargains.
As for what you did with mother's antique oatmeal collection, you medical miscreant, your representations will do you no good. Bowing and scraping only serves to pound home the malevelance of your barbarism.
I thought I had ridded myself of these horrid memories during the Regiment's venture at the River Kwae Yai at Kanchanaburi, as we traversed along the bank of Kwae Noi River which cuts across the Thai-Burma border at Chedi Sam Ong. But no.
I take your pretzel logic and fling it like the salty dough-smattering that it is.
I will have no more of it, and I will have no more of you. You shan't be finding me much longer in these parts.
Col. Falcon St.Pierre-Fastendin (Ret.)
How foolish was I to imagine that time had been kind to you, Colonel.
In the words of the Great Poet, "The bitterest of the bitter become ever more bitter in their bitterness yet not bittersweet."
How true..... how true.......
Alas, I too, shall read no more of Mr. Blitz. The commentaries seem to bring out the very worst in human nature.
I remain,
The emminent Dr. Stanley Pong
Pong --- my parting shot across your bow is a two-fold sling:
1. Indeed you are foolish, on that I will concur. You always have been, it appears you always will be.
2. Your emminence is clearly evident only to those imminently emanating immanent foolishness.
Col. Falcon St.-Pierre-Fastendin (Ret.)
Post a Comment