Alaskan Cruise

Avast there Matey! Batten down the hatch! Chop down the mizzen mast! I love that salty sea talk; which brings to mind my excitement about going on a sea cruise! The winters here in Angus Hat can be brutal. I remember one particular winter when my Great Dane Flarcz froze to death. Papa said we shouldn't have kept him chained outside. My brother Homer said that we should put him in a tub of warm water so that he would stay warm during the cold nights. We stood up the resulting block of ice and shot pucks at it for practice until the spring thaw. We buried Flarcz behind the barn.
Norv told me that there are cruises to Alaska! Alaska; sounds like a magical place! It's an island in a remote part of the Pacific. There's no airport, that's why you can only get there by boat. And that's what makes Alaska so special (especially for you eco-conscious travelers): The people of Alaska don't want an airport! Since the cruise ships rely on sails, no pollution is brought to this pristine paradise. There are no cars in Alaska either. But don't worry - it won't be a problem getting around since it's a pretty small island.
But the fun of a cruise is not the destination - it's getting there. There's so much to do on the big boat! Since the boat depends on the wind for speed, water skiing is permitted on really brisk days. If it's calmer, you can sit on a raft tied to the "stern". The sharks and tuna will keep you company and you'll be quite safe as long as you're not moving too slow.
It's a wonderful experience to be looking out over the vast ocean in the evening and watch the dolphins playfully jump out of the water! If the captain is around when you're on deck and he see's the dolphins, he'll throw a ball out on the water and the dolphins will form teams and have a polo match - right in front of you!
Of course, the dolphins are not completely altruistic; they know you'll probably throw them a treat for their performance. They like fish, fresh or canned, but many people taking the cruise bring along old or dead pets to throw to the clowns of the sea. I'm told they have an affinity for small cats and ferrets.
There are several ports of call on the way: Tortuga, Port Royal and Port O'Spain come to mind. I think that's where captain Henry Morgan first bottled his rum! And speaking of pirates, alway keep a sharp look-out for ships with black sails. They may be pirates - or they've had a fire. Just be careful.
When it's dark, they have big bonfires on the poop deck where you can roast freshly caught barnacles and sea cucumber. As you munch away on these savory treats, the captain will regale everyone with ghost stories of the high seas - and speaking of high seas, the ropes holding the sails are made of hemp!
After a full day of breathing the fresh salt air you'll probably get hungry and as you already may know, cruise ships are famous for their buffets! All you can eat hard tack and salt cod all day and night! If you're fortunate, on of the stops on the way might have orange trees or pineapple fields; the palm trees are heavy with coconut as well. The captain will usually organize a raiding party and you'll be able to keep all you can grab. You'll be supplied with a weapon (it's included in you're vacation package deal)- just try and keep casualties to a minimum.
And the shopping! You can purchase all sorts of trinkets and souvenirs on board or at the various stops on the way, usually for some shiny stones or pocket knives (they don't have currency).
Alaska itself has some unique products found only there and nowhere else in the world.
They have hats made of clay, overcoats made of woven seal and walrus whiskers, throw pillows stuffed with crabmeat, gloves with a sixth mechanical finger, oh - the list goes on and on!
When you arrive at Alaska harbour, The natives come rushing out to the beach to welcome you! A tradition began many years ago wherein cruise ship visitors would take off their pants and throw them in the water - with change in the pockets - and the natives would go diving down to retrieve them and thus have money - and pants! This fanciful custom continued until a few years ago when the island overlords decided to dredge the harbour, allowing for bigger ships. The depth now makes it difficult for them to dive down to the bottom so if you throw your pants, make sure there's no change in the pockets.
Well, I'm going into the workshop to make an eye patch for my trip. I want to look like I fit in, Matey!

Keep on travellin'!

Blitz