I've decided to show you all photo of my community and friends:
Here's where I live, just outside of Angus Hat:
Here's the only picture I have of my dear departed dad, Vilhelm, King Of The Hobos:
Here's a photo of my troglyditic brother Homer, just before he ran into the cave:
Here's some pictures of our hangouts, the UFO pit, Sasquatch Pole and Lem's Filling Station:
And finally, here's a publicity shot of the boys, taken for their ill-fated Led Zeppelin tribute band:
Well, I hope you enjoy the pics and are now convinced that it's all true!
Keep on travellin'!
Blitz
21 comments:
Your brother Homer's attire bears a striking resemblance to a young Diogenes Poolaveksizzle, circa 1975.
Pearly really should get that mole checked.
:-) Hi Blitz.
It's me, Molly :-) Thank you SO MUCH for the recipes!!!! :-) I'm sorry I wrote that I was disappointed :-( just before you went to ALL THE TROUBLE of finding non-allergenic travel recipies :-)
I like your pictures!!! Your Dad looks just like my Uncle Harvey!
:-( I hate humming. Did you ever try eating budgie food? It's gross! :-0 I put a picture of you next to my homework desk :-)
Love!!!!!!!!!!! Molly
I've reached a point where I feel the need to express my disappointment with Blitz Klappenhammer.
It used to be frustrating. Then sad. Now it's just plain funny.
Frankly, I find Blitz's demeanor and pomposity downright appalling. If you had doubts based on his rampant written pseudo-travel-happy ramblings, the recent photographic evidence that he now spatters and splays all over his blog is indisputable.
To plunge right into it, only the impartial and unimpassioned mind will even consider that there are few certainties in life. I have counted only three: death, taxes, and Blitz doing some headlong thing every few weeks.
What I'm saying is this: he has two imperatives. The first is to render unspeakable and unthinkable whole categories of beliefs about power. The second imperative is to jettison rational discussion by the overuse of mindless slogans.
To reiterate the main message of this letter, the future is what we make it, and there is clearly no future in directions being dictated by Blitz.
Hi.
New reader. SUPER blog. Just SUPER.
One more thing and then I really have to go, as I have neither the time nor the inclination to do this all day... Unless you're a newly hatched pod person you already know that Mr. Blitz Klappenhammer holds himself to low standards.
But let me add that I would like to register my strong objection to Mr. Klappenhammer's mischievous anecdotes.
What shall we do? We have several options. We might act honorably. We might reinforce what is best in people. Or, we might show principle, gumption, verve, and nerve.
Any of these options, I warrant, are acceptable. Still, we must choose one of them or else Mr. Klappenhammer will organize a whispering campaign against me eventually. Perhaps he already has.
I beg of you, wake up and understand that all Klappenhammer has on offer is abstract, loathsome, intellectual hooey.
John F.
My what lively discussions y'all are having.
As no one has the nerve to tell y'all it will be left to me to be the bearer of bad news.
After careful examination I must say that there is something terribly wrong with all y'all.
Every last one of you has way too much time on their hands.
This is shameful!
Please for the love of mankind run to your nearest community college and enroll in a program which will cure your idleness.
Harlem, NY
Long time reader, first time commenter! It is my keen desire to laud your prose, Mr. Blitz Klappenmer. I am a schoolteacher from Waverly, in the County of Connaught, Ireland. I don't mind saying that I use your travelogues in my curriculum, particular to lessons in grammar, geography and fiction.
I would like to pass on a question from my pupil, Seamus O'Callaghan (form 3, fiction), who just this afternoon asked if the people of Angus Hat don't have colour photography. I delivered to him a stern lecture (and six lashes of the hide) for his cheek, but I now realize he has a point.
I'm sure there's a good reason. I look to your reply, Mr. Blitz Klappenhammer.
Cheerio,
Miss Priscilla Diddles
Miss Diddles,
That's AWESOME that you use the Blitz Blog in your classroom. Just AWESOME.
Hello,
This message is directed to "King Peng" of Fuji. I use your presumed royal title in deference to your assumed hereditary rights, without prejudice to rejecting the same upon discovery of legally binding outcomes.
For your reference, I am the Visiting Fellow of Fijian History and Constitutional Jurisprudence, at the University of Fiji in Saweni, Lautoka, Fiji. I write this letter to inquire about the legitimacy of your monarchial claim.
As you know, Fiji was proclaimed a republic in 1987, approximately 100 years after the ceding of the country to the United Kingdom in 1874.
King Peng, on what basis do you claim your heridatary rights? Do you come from the line of Seru Epenisa Cakobau, the last king of Fiji? Or are you claiming privilege on the basis of the line of the House of Kist Angou?
I would caution you on matters consitutional, as current acting President (Ratu Epeli Nailatikau) does not take challenges lightly, if recent precedent can be taken as indication of future courses of action.
I can be reached at the University directly through my office, or here, via the Blitz blog commentary response function.
With Respect Due,
Prof. Landon McQuaig
Dear Lady Lacrecia Wynters,
Harlem is a nice place to visit, but I don't like how the peoples wear crotchet hats in the winter. I've noticed that bulky yarn is often used, with 'knit 2, purl 2 ribbing' being a common pattern. I don't like it, it's not befitting.
Do you?
Also, be careful what you read about Blitz Klappenhammer, I have a sense he is a little loose with the truth.
Grandmama P. Jickles.
Prof. McQuaig,
For your information, I do not address myself as King, but as Prince, a title which I legitimately hold. I am 26th in line to the throne, and am just as entitled to be called royalty as England's adorable little Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie.
To call my very name into question is BOGUS, just BOGUS.
I remain,
His Majesty Prince Stefan Peng of Fiji
Sir (the self-styled "His Majesty Prince Stefan Peng of Fiji"),
Please be informed that Fiji no longer has a "throne", in the kingly sense.
Furthermore, I am duty-bound to point out that while you glibly use the heraldic term "Prince", you preface this with the title "His Majesty". Roberson's Heraldic Rules of Privilege clearly state that the meaning of the preface takes precedence over any following nomenclatures. Ergo, you are, in effect, claiming kingly authority despite your (frankly) amateurish attempts to waylay jurisprudence on the matter. I point this out merely as a benefit to your best interests, for as I noted in my prior comment, Fijian authorities frown severely on this behaviour, and are more likely than not to follow it up with punishmata as fits the misdemeanour.
Alas, like a gifted minstrel playing a harp before a goat, I fear my considered wisdom is being scattered to the wind, dismissed as gold amidst sand.
Prof. Landon McQuaig
To Prof. Landon McQuaig.
As a result of threats, both real and perceived, against my client, His Majesty Prince Stefan Peng of Fiji, I have been instructed to advise you that a retraining order has been served against you on this day, March 2, 2010. Details may be obtained through my office.
Barrister Varhander J. Klekk, Attorney at Law
Hi,
This is Fran Daniels from Sioux City. Stefan Peng, do you have a brother named Fetwa Peng? We're doing our family tree and I think we might be related (ha! I guess that means we'd be related to you too Stefan!!). ;-)
Anyway, we've traced our family to roots in Fiji through the Australian ancestry registry. Any information you can give would be helpful. Thanks!!!
Hi Fran.
Sorry, but no Peng has ever set foot on American soil. (It's a long story.)
Now, if you mean Sioux City, New South Wales, in the glorious land of Australia, HELLO THIRD COUSIN TWICE REMOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How is Auntie Wanda??????!!!!!!!
Love and kisses to the expatriot Peng clan,
Stef
Hello Stefan Peng,
I think I have confused you with someone else. So sorry.
Fran Daniels
I am so happy that so many of you have flocked to my side in support of my recent resistance efforts. Your personal memos and supportive phone calls have been so touching!
Prince Stefan, Fran Daniels, Lady Wynters, Molly Willabong, Hymie Goldberg, Prof. McQuaig, Barrister Klekk, Miss Diddles, Grandma Jickles --I welcome you all!
Remember, Blitz's refrains reek of expansionism. I use the word "reek" because emotionalism has long been Blitz's lodestar.
So, this is merely a note to those of you who are faithfully helping me convince hopeless fussbudgets to stop supporting Mr. Klappenhammer and tolerating his belief systems. To you, I extend my deepest gratitude and my most affectionate regards.
Well then, Ms. Daniels,
I am to be addressed by my correct title His Majesty Prince Stefan Peng.
Dear Mr. Klaptraphammer,
I am writing again on behalf of Dr. Loquada Flast, with regard to the upcoming appointment at your Angus Hat premises. I have not heard back from you since my first attempt at setting up an assessment date, and as Feb 28th has come and gone, we'll need to reschedule.
I realize you may not be in town due to you hectic travel schedule (I've become a fervent blog reader!), nevertheless, Dr. Loquada still desires to consult with you, as there remains some concern about your capacities. She can help.
Please respond to me at your earliest convenience,
M. Emma M. Ammana
Secretary to Dr. Loquada Flast
Hi,
where's steven ping (right honorable)? I have a question for him
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